When Life Hands You a Lemon...

I work at an after school program in an impoverished community. The neighboring schools are Title I status and many of the children come from situations at home that I cannot even dream of.

It is a fantastic program. Unfortunately though, as generous as our partnering facility is, we don't have the space to fit all of those kids comfortably and we spent a lot of time trying to find somewhere for our kids to play. 

Last November an outside organization came in and built a playground for the facility we are housed out of. It was a wonderful day, and the kids now had somewhere to own and escape to. This was their place to be.

Today I received a shocking email describing the shock that our community partner experienced when she arrived at work and found that our playground had been burned.

My heart broke the moment I read the email. Who would do this? Where would our kids go? 

When I arrived at work Channel 5 news crew was at the scene and crime tape covered the grounds. The bus driver that dropped our kids off every day had told them that the playground had been burned, so the children burst through the door exploding with questions.

Can we see it?
Who did it?
How did it happen?
Will we ever get to play on it again?

Then one little girl pulled on the sleeve of my shirt. 

"Ms. Sarah, I want to fix it. Can we help?"

At that moment, I realized why I have the job that I do. As an undergraduate, I have nowhere NEAR the expertise or qualifications to solve all of the worlds problems (who does?) I can't even fix the community that I am in.
Let's face it, I'm lucky when I fix the computer when it crashes.

But I do have the expertise or qualifications to help these students be inspired to make a difference for themselves, their community, and the world. At that moment, I realized that what kids need is for someone to catch those golden moments where a child knows what is right and seize it. If she sees the impact that one statement can have and did have on me, then she will make more of them, and hopefully one day follow them through with action.

It's pretty crazy to me that so many highly educated and successful people look at communities like this and only see it as somewhere the needs their help, or people that can't help themselves. I think it's incredible that the very people that are up against every obstacle in the world are still asking:
 How can I help?

I can tell you, that when I feel like life is up against me, I am way more likely to say:

 "Do you see what I'm dealing with? Figure it out yourself!"

  And my hardships are definitely minor in comparison.

I guess this is one of those situations where I amazed by the people in my life, and need to take a step back to be inspired and be thankful for the blessings I have.

Cliche, but remember the saying: 'when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade?'

Hopefully this lemon can turn into lemonade.

Maybe this is room for us to work with the students to make this a project, how can they help make this right? 

What can they do to help take ownership of the playground, the facility, and their community?

Maybe this is room for me to learn from the kids, the work, and the community I interact with every day.

Kids are amazing. It's a shame they don't get more credit.

Night Walks

See how scary the shadows are?

There is just something about summer that reminds me what is important.

Tonight was the first night I have enjoyed the summer air, the kind that the chill is gone, and there is just enough warmth that you are comfortable. The kind that just begs for shorts and flip flops.

My roommate and I went to this park, it was after dark and probably not a good life decision, but we wanted to swing.


I realized it was the first time in a long time that I had stopped, taken a walk, spent time with a friend and talked about anything and everything. I also realized just how important that was for my life. We didn't talk about anything earth shattering, in fact the stupidity of our conversation probably decreased both of our IQ's by a few points, but it was fun and satisfying.

It's a little ironic that some of the biggest lessons I've learned this year has been less about academics and more about how to live life healthily.

Nonetheless, it made me excited summer is here and that I am about to spend an amazing three months with some of the most amazing people I know.

Hopefully I have a lot more night walks in my future.








By the way, I ran 1.1 miles today. I've got a long way to go, but it beats my .36 of a mile from the beginning!

Live Life... For Who?

Interesting fact, but my friends mom met Nicholas Sparks, and apparently he's got a huge ego and is kind of an a**.

If one of the most romantic writer of all time *opinion* is an a** in person, that makes me doubtful for the hopes of finding one of my own. And all I wanted was a Noah...

I saved this on my computer forever ago. I couldn't even tell you where I found it, but I'd really like to know what Nicholas Sparks book this is from.




This quote has been the biggest lesson I have learned most recently. I could put this in conjunction with the idea that

  "Stop trying to make everyone happy, because it's impossible, once one person is happy with something, there's always someone waiting wanting the opposite."

It's crazy that I've never had such trouble with it. Then I thought about it, and right now it's competing priorities. I was stupid enough to overcommit myself to the max this year. So time was a hot commodity, which played out in my schoolwork, jobs, extracurriculars, and also my relationships. Everything was asking for my full effort and all of my time. I had to start making choices and then couldn't handle it when not everyone was 100% satisfied at the end.
The thing is though, making everyone 100% satisfied was impossible. There is not enough of me, there is not enough time, I don't have enough sanity.
So is the healthy thing to make choices and just shrug when not everyone is happy?

That quote struck home because I realized that my issue is that my happiness is rooted in other people's happiness with me. If they see me as successful and living a good life, then I must be. If I'm messing up or they're disappointed in me, then something must be wrong with me.
The thing is though no one person sees every side of my life. No one other person will ever know if I am truly being successful and living a full life, but me.

I guess that is why the wise a**h*** advised us to live life not for other people, but for ourselves.

The struggle is finding the balance between living life for myself and being narcissistic and self centered. Can a balance be struck?

 I view it as a spectrum.
The goal, I guess, is to find the middle ground and be able to live for myself and still work for other people in it.

I guess it's not easy.

Those are my words of the wise for the day.

I don't like that because I think I am far from wise.

Those are my words of the learnt for the day.

Much better.

The Commitment

Today's the day.

Proof, in case you didn't believe me.
Look how happy and cold I look!

In high school, I loved running. I was slow, but loved it. I even ran cross country for a season! ...Total disaster, but I liked the pasta parties.

Anyways, during those awesome four years in adolescence (bold=sarcasm), I hardly ever missed a run and my body and sanity thanked me for it.


And then I came to college.

New friends, crazy schedule, and a ginormous meal plan.
                                                     ^  I thought that was a made up word.
                                                                                        

Fitness was among the first to be cut out. Don't get me wrong, over the past few years I've done some exercise, a zumba class here and there, a one day hiking trip, and that chacha dance performance that I spent way too much time preparing for.
Then there was the random month in January that I was super motivated and worked out hard core for about a month, then gave up.

This time WILL be different for a lot of reasons:

• I'm writing about it. This can count as a legal contract right?
• I'm gong into summer where time is much more plentiful. I hope 
• I'm ready and pumped! Remind me that I said this tomorrow when I'm complaining.
• I'm making a commitment to run a half marathon!

Sunday, October 7 is the big day!

So, here's the thing.

About a week ago I tried to pick up running again. I had my iphone and earbuds, my tie dye sports bra, my laces were tied, and my hair was pulled back from my face: all things that announce to the world I am a runner, cars and pedestrians get out of my way. 

I started this wonderful app on my phone called MapMyRun, which all serious runners should have. It tells you exactly how far you've run, uses a map to show your route, and has a lot of other fancy features I am just not qualified to have access to.

My pump up music, The Hairspray Soundtrack, was blaring in my ears and I took off ready to go. Not too fast, I didn't want to burn out too soon.

I was feeling good. The breeze was in my face, blood was pumping, and I was on top of the world.

Then it happened. My stomach started cramping, my legs filled with lead, and someone kept putting a sword down my throat and pulling it back out again. Ok, I thought, I'll just take a quick break and start running in a second. So I stopped and look down at my phone.

I had traveled . 36 of a mile. 

What!?

In high school I ran several miles at a time, 2 miles was a really bad day. AND NOW?

So this is me saying, I have a long way to go.

And now I think I'm gonna go put my shoes on and take on the elements....

Little Steps

Saw this on http://thingssheloves.tumblr.com/
Which I am slightly obsessed with.


And it made me think hard about the whole purpose of me starting this blog.
Obviously there are some changes that I would like to make, and this totally sets up the little steps. The little steps that will hopefully lead to a much more fuller life.

So starting today I will take the little steps.

I can tell you right now, number 12 is going to be the hardest one for me.
We'll work on that one tomorrow.

I'm Employed!

Well, doubly employed.


By day, I am an after school program couselor/site leader/ whateverthehelltheytellmetodo.

By night... Server!

Thanks Calypso for the opportunity to wear a tacky t-shirt and serve people food!


I found this job not because I necessarily needed the extra $$
(Let's be honest though, who doesn't need the money?)

I found this job mostly because I wanted to interact with more coworkers than the 5 middle aged ladies at my office. I also would like to open the door for more adventures. Serendipity anyone?

Hopefully I like the people I work with.

I start Saturday.


Let's start the adventures.

There's Always the Beginning

Sophomore year of college is closing, it's insane. Last week I was graduating high school, now I'm planning my life until graduation. 


One Saturday I left the bubble and took a walk. I took a walk through a real neighborhood with flowers and cars and real people. Schoolwork, jobs, friends, and schedules somehow made me forget that there are real people in the world, and one day I'll be one of them.

Suddenly I realized that life is fast.


So fast that this year I have realized I am 19 years old and working my life away. 
I want to stop and smell the roses. I want to live a full life.
I want romance. I want adventures. I want to be stupid.


It's summer of 2012 and I'm in Nashville. 
Anything can happen and I don't want to be passive and wait for life to happen.
Now's the time. And I can't wait.